Only rich kids have disabilities, the poor are just dumb

From the moment my son was born, I have found myself eating my own words.  You'd think I would have learned by now.  Really, they are not tasty words either.  Last night as my husband and I were returning home from a visit to the neuropsychologist’s office, I turned to him and announced, "Hey hon, we are officially rich now."  He looked at me strangely and asked if I was referring to Obama's decision to extend tax cuts.  No, I was reminded of a conversation I had with him years earlier which stuck in my mind.  Shortly after I graduated from college, I went to work for an asset management firm which catered to the country's ultra wealthy.  My responsibilities extended well beyond the financial.  I remember completing college application forms for my bosses' kids and personally delivering them to NYU in a chauffeured vehicle.  I also remember drafting letters to the admissions office.  That is how I learned that both his children were diagnosed with learning disabilities.  One had Tourette's Syndrome and the other child had dyslexia and a number of other conditions I do not recall.  As I heard of more and more children being diagnosed with an assortment of conditions, I had the strange feeling that this was entirely new (I don't recall any classmates or friends having any of these diagnosis) and I noted that the children being diagnosed came from families who fared well financially.  I jokingly mentioned to my husband at one point that apparently only wealthy kids had disabilities, the poor are just dumb.  I realize this statement may seem highly insensitive, so I will explain what I meant.  Really, I just felt that there are just as many children from less affluent families who have the same disabilities, but are not being recognized as such and are not receiving the services they need.  I feel even more strongly about this now.  Tristan's assessment is not yet complete and we have already spent $6,000.  I feel truly privileged to be in a position of being able to afford the cost.  I know many people are not so lucky.  I wonder how many children go through their lives being labeled as "lazy, stupid, dumb, careless and aggressive" when a more appropriate label would be "dyslexic, developmentally delayed, mildly affected, etc."  I know we ourselves fell guilty to labeling our son as "lazy" when he could not dress himself and failed to perform tasks involving several steps.  We now know that he is not lazy at all and it is just a manifestation of his Asperger Syndrome.  All of Tristan's teachers expressed their concern about his inability to complete tasks, his delayed reactions in general and the difficulty they had integrating him to the group.  However, most felt that this was all due to his personality and two of them suggested that we stop "coddling" him so much.  His current teacher has been amazing.  She even apologized for thinking that he was "lazy" and now says that she recognizes he simply cannot do things at the same pace as the other kids.  The manifestations of his Aspergers are so subtle that they were easily missed.  Although I once shunned the labels, I can now say that I am happy he has gone from being "lazy" to being a child with Asperger's. 
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